Album Review: Jay-Z- "The Blueprint 3"

I wasn't gonna do this album review, at least not until the album dropped, when I saw that I could just stream it from Rhapsody. That commercial for Rhapsody where Jay recreates all of his album covers is fucking phenomenal. How would the album stack up?

1. What We Talkin' About

The much talked about intro that he kicked a cappella at a few shows. It's funny how I (and probably everyone else) assumed from those videos that this was some spoken word, Def-Poetry style intro, but thats actually how he raps nowadays. 

2. Thank You

This beat would have been perfect for a Jay-Z song, say, around the time of the first Blueprint. Instead, he ruins it with this rambling sort of delivery he's adapted. I guess it could be worse.

3. D.O.A.

No need in reviewing this at this point. I've already heard this like a thousand times between my own free will and MTV forcing the music video down my throat like 20 times a day. I still kinda like it, though.

4. Run This Town (Feat. Kanye West & Rihanna)

Same goes for this one. Except for liking it of course.

5. Empire State of Mind (Feat. Alicia Keys)

Nas was supposed to be on this, no? I bet he was and but Jay didn't want everyone fast forwarding over his verses on his own shit. Alicia Keys kind of sabotages this anyway.

6. Real As It Gets (Feat. Young Jeezy)

Sadly enough, I think this is my favorite, non-D.O.A. song yet. Jay-Z's rapping is the best I've heard so far. Or maybe it just sounds that way next to Young Jeezy verses. Regardless I'd fuck with this before any of this other nonsense.

7. On To The Next One 

This is like "Swagga Like Us" fused with "Elevators" in the worst way possible (its Swizz Beatz, after all). 

8. Off That (Feat. Drake)

This would be better suited for some R&B bitch. Not a legit R&B bitch either, like some low budget singer on Timbo's label or some shit. Drake might as well not even be on this either since he doesn't rap or sing. Jay-Z knows better than to get on a track with Drake anyway. Yeah, I said it.

9. A Star Is Born (Feat. J. Cole)

This beat sounds like something I could make with garage band and a keyboard. I probably wouldn't bother saving it either. Jay-Z raps about all the rappers that were popular these past 15 years or so, himself included. J. Cole, whom I know of because I have to sift through his shit on Nah Right to find something I'm interested in, kicks a guest verse. He sounds like a budget Lupe Fiasco to me, meaning that being Jay-Z's artist likely won't save him from obscurity.

10. Venus Vs. Mars

This could be the least inspired female track Jay-Z has ever done. That includes "I Know What Girls Like" or whatever. From Volume 1. He even drops a Bernie Madoff metaphor in there.

11. Already Home (Feat. Kid Cudi)

This beat isn't half-bad compared to the rest of the album. He actually addresses being called a camel on this. Lolz. If that wasn't enough, on the last verse he ends every line with "already", as if he were Juvenile or something. In all seriousness, this is aight.

12. Hate (Feat. Kanye West)

Auto-Tune, which Jay-Z famously killed 9 tracks ago makes a triumphant return here. I don't even know what the fuck this is. This would make sense on a Kanye album, but its way out of Jay-Z's element. As Game once pointed out, Jay-Z is mad old.

13. Reminder

This, on the other hand, is more in Jay-Z's element. Unfortunately, it sounds like one of the more regrettable moments from Blueprint 2 or maybe Volume 3. Jay-Z's rapping takes a step backward too. At one point he just lists a bunch of years, as though it proves some sort of point. I don't think we need a reminder of Jay-Z at this point as much as he thinks we do. Remember, this is the guy that shows up at random alt rock shows because he feels like it.

14. So Ambitious (Feat. Pharrell)

I guess this isn't the worst thing The Neptunes have done, but Pharrell's "singing" may be at its all-time, um, least bearable here. If you didn't know from listening to the rest of this album or just being aware of pop culture, Jay-Z is pretty affluent and successful. He's got an office!

15. Young Forever (Feat. Mr. Hudson)

The fuck? This is even extremely gay in an era where its commonplace for rappers to wear tight jeans and horn-rimmed glasses. This is on a fucking Blueprint album? I give up.

Best Songs: "D.O.A.", "Thank You", "Already Home"

Comments:

That was just awful. I forecasted this in my last post, but I'm not sure if I could have imagined how tragic it could be. Maybe the worst part of it, as I alluded to in my last song review, was that this album falls under the "Blueprint" title, one once synonymous with classic Jay-Z. Even though Blueprint 2 kinda sucked, it still had the "You Don't Know" remix. And fuckin' "Watcher 2".  Jay-Z should have saved himself some criticism and called this what it was, "Kingdom Come 2".